Ahmadinejad: My role in his downfall

(Apologies to Spike Milligan)

Iran's next.

Last December, I went to Cuba. It was exhilarating and exasperating in about equal measure. El Che and non-stop salsa, quotes from Fidel and Raul pinned up on CDR noticeboards, massive billboards berating the US blockade lining near-empty four-lane highways, revolutionary trinkets for sale, a dollar a piece. If I ever hear Guantanamera again, it will be too soon.

A month or so after my return, Fidel stepped down. Cuba's inching towards some sort of new era.

Last month, after what felt like an eon of wading through paperwork, getting translations and bits and bobs and wigwams for goose's bridles (for geese's bridles?), I went to Libya. The day after I left, Gaddafi - AKA the Great Leader, the Guide, the Colonel, the man who risked his soul for Libya, Arabism, Islam and humanity altogether, etc etc ad infinitum, ad nauseam - spoke on the phone to George W. Bush. It was, apparently, the first time there'd been top-level contact between the US and Libya for decades.

Coincidence? Perhaps.

But maybe not.

There's also the small matter of Slobodan Milosevic getting caught. But I can't take full credit for that. I'm suspicious of homeopathy and I was in Belgrade about a year before he was arrested. That link's a bit tenuous.

Still, I've decided on a trip to Iran before June's elections. Think of it as a test of the mojo. But going on the track record, if I were Mahmoud, I'd be worried.

Mind you, if I've got the mojo on, then it means that there's a minibreak in Pyongyang on the agenda as well. Hmm, perhaps Kazakhstan needs some help first ...